You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
