Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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