Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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