She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
