so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
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