a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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