When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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