no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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