you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
