You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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