Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
