I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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