My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
