Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
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