We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
