Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
