that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize