...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
