Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize