Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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