Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
