What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
