Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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