South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
His hands were made for my vagina.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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