ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
