oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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