Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
handjob tips. give me some.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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