the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
