It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
