Umm I'm too high to move.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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