So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
