you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
