i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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