You just made me feel so damn special
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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