Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
