I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I love having hate sex.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
