Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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