I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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