Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
