I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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