Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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