I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
