we made out on top of his cat.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize