She announced her abortion via fbk
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
