Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
