Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
