hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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