I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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