Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize