Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.â€
Randomize
