Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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