i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
