I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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