Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
