Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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