Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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