Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
