u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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